We go to school in hopes that maybe we might not be called another name. Maybe just for once,for a day,we may remain invisible to the predators that see us as their prey.
‘You’re a freak’ they tell us
‘You don’t belong’ they taunt
It’s a constant battle within yourself trying to prove them wrong. That you’re not a freak. That you do belong.
We were sent to school by our parents thinking it’s safe and that we won’t experience the cruelty of the world in a place,supposedly,deemed safe.
The cruelty of the world exists in the safest of places because it is not the school but the students that ridicule all those who are different.
We see and we here the sounds of bullying. Yet most of us stand and the others join because it seems cool.
We sit in the back of classes,zippers at our mouths because maybe if we don’t speak they won’t notice us. That maybe if we blend in with the dark world they created,we won’t hurt us.
But we were wrong
We sit in classes where silence takes place,but the minute we step in the corridor it’s a battlefield waiting for the first to come out alive.
No one ever does.
They think that meaningless words can’t take away lives
They don’t understand the power of their words cut like knives
Overtime,the emotions we lock up cause us to explode
Where we lose all our sanity and our hearts of gold.
For we are the victims
We are blamed when shootings occur
Or when lives are taken
But who is really to blame?
For what understanding I’ve developed in my 15 years of life,bullying is…unfortunately,human nature. The feeling of jealousy,hatred and cruelty…it’s everywhere. You put someone down to make yourself feel better. Our world is a cruel,fast-paced one,and the only way to get it till the end is…to survive.
Bullying is survival instinct. You make someone feel terrible about them self,and in doing so,removing another opponent from your way.
But that doesn’t mean it’s right
It’s just the ugly truth
Where there are humans,there are bullies
And the only thing we can do is…survive.
At least. That’s what I believed for a long time. Just let the taunting continue. Trying to act indifferent,while slowly each word,each punch embedded deep inside my unconscious brain. But we all assume the wrong thing don’t we? Just go with the flow?
‘Overcoming bullying is no easy task. It requires immense bravery,courage and confidence.’ This was what we all have been hearing for a long time. These words echoing meaninglessly in the empty Halls of Solitude in our minds. No adult could help,no friend could support,right?
Wrong. Friends do help. Mine did,indirectly. My friends were my support,the ones quietly standing in the rain and holding an umbrella over me while I was too busy waving my umbrella at the ‘popular’ kids,trying to get their attention. Bullied though I was,I still had a tiny wish,a little hope. The same dream all my fellow bullied students have. To be accepted. To be a part of the ‘it’ crowd. I was jealous of them,hated them,envied them…and made some place in my heart for reluctant respect toward them. I was consumed by the revenge I desired,yet a part of me wanted to be friends with them.
Finally,I made a life changing decision. I decided to fight back. But it wasn’t as easy as declaring it. Every time I protested,they brutally suppressed it. My bruises increased. My muscles hurt. My throat burned. But that I didn’t let that stop me. I protested. Returned the punches. Refused to give them satisfaction by ignoring their insults. I let my hatred for them and passion to be free fuel my spirit. I reigned my anger and all those emotions I had bottled up flowed freely. I galloped at my bullies. The struggle was for two years. But I finally did it. I stopped the bullying. Even started standing up to the people I saw bullied.
Now those words make sense to me. Even though they sounded monotonous,repetitive…they are the truth.
Fighting back ISN’T easy,not even a bit. The key is just to be calm,and find your individual inspiration. Fight back. It will take time-maybe even decade. But I promise you this. The view in the end will be worth it.
If a ‘lame’ girl who didn’t have a voice could use her NEGATIVE emotions as an advantage and continuously fight back for two years-and then emerge successful…so can you. Like I said,you just need to find your inspiration,a motivation-even if is just this article.